3/05/40 HLC's letter to [
852]'s parents, Mrs. [
1312] and
Mr. [2704]:
Let me tell you first why I am writing this letter, so that
you will not feel that I am presuming in commenting on the
break in [
852]'s marriage.
You will remember that [
852] secured a Life Reading from
Dad several years ago. That reading contained some very
definite warnings about marriage and also explicit
suggestions as to what type of life work she should
undertake. It is clearly indicated in the reading just why
her marriage with [
2062] is not working out. [
852] wrote us
at the time she secured a Life Reading for [
2062]. I have
known about the situation that was coming up and have tried
to help her understand it in the light of the information in
those readings.
The average person would be in a position to toss such
information aside lightly as being unimportant. You all
cannot do this, for you had an opportunity to recognize the
accuracy and value of such information as applied to [
852]'s
physical condition. It does not necessarily follow that the
Life Readings would be correct but it seems to me that they
should be given some consideration.
I am sure that you desire [
852]'s happiness more than
anything else on earth. Frankly I am just as confident
that she can have this happiness (real happiness) through
following her Life Reading as I am sure that the readings
saved her life when she was so ill.
If [
852] is able to meet this experience in the right way
she will be a much finer person. You can help her do this.
Whether you recognize it or not this experience is something
that comes out of the past, something that she has builded
that must be met. It is a time to apply all the theories of
goodness that we hear about on Sunday. She must not be
bitter, she must not condemn. You must help her to
understand this, or her whole nature will be warped.
O, it is easy to sit out in Virginia and sound off about
theories and ideals, but it is hard to face the realities -
the pain registering in her face, the talk of people. Both
of you know that I am not without some experience of
suffering along these lines and I speak with the background
of the readings.
[
852] is fortunate that this marriage has not lasted longer
than it has at present. There are no children. There are
no long years of sacrifice and bickering together. We all
make mistakes. A person does not need cherry words and
encouragement when things are going smoothly. An individual
needs understanding when the going is tough. You cannot help
her by condemning, or criticizing or being bitter. Her life
is before her. Help her make a worthwhile one. I know the
"Hill". I can hear the lash of invectives, the frenzied
pitch of denunciations. Spare her as much of this as
you possibly can.
When [
852] was sick [See
852-3 through 852-8], you had to
make a decision when following the suggestions in the
reading. Make another now and help her follow the
suggestions in her Life Reading. These are far more
important than the suggestions for her physical well-being.
[
852] should go to college, William and Mary would be best
Vanderbilt if that is impracticable. She should study social
sciences, preparatory to training as a teacher in religious
education. [
852] is trained and capable of taking care of
most of her expenses after she gets started. There is no
excuse for a boy or girl not going to college if they
really want to do so.
Please give this careful consideration. [
852] has a good
mind. Her standards are high. She does not deserve to be
buried (in fact I am sure she will not be buried there) there
with a lot of bitterness and reproaches.
Help her readjust her life. I am confident that you can
depend upon the advice given in the readings - advice given
long before this condition arose.
There are many angles to this whole situation. I wonder if
you have considered all of them? It might be said for
example that you, not [
852], failed in this situation.
Obviously you did not take her Life Reading seriously (and
after her physical readings too) or you would have insisted
on her following the suggestions it contained. This would
have avoided this marriage entirely. You evidently did not
understand her, or you would have known that marriage with a
person with materialistic ideas would only fail. It was not
enough to warn her (if you did). She could have had
opportunities to express and develop the talents that you
over-looked.
I do not say this is all true. I know something of the
circumstances. It is no time to condemn. I am sure that
there has been enough of that already. I certainly would
have no more right to say to you that you failed to prepare
[
852] to meet this experience, avoid this experience, than
you would have a right to say these two young people that
they are wrong in separating. It is a mistake; make the most
of it.
Your condemnation of [
2062], your criticism of [
852], will
only add to your own unhappiness and make her readjustment
more difficult. You should be glad that it is no worse,
glad that [
852] us capable of facing this bravely. There
are other ways you know, but there is only one path that
will bring order out of chaos, that of patience, freeing
the mind of bitterness, withholding condemnation and
criticism. [
852] understands this way - better perhaps
than either of you. Help her hold to it.
Forgive my frankness. It is only in behalf of [
852] that I
would take this liberty. Surely her life has been saved for
some good and since we had a hand in that - perhaps you will
not feel hard if I put in my oar at this point.
Love from all. Hugh Lynn Cayce
3/21/40 [
852]'s ltr. to HLC:
Dear Hugh Lynn,
Have a few minutes to spare here at the office so thought I
would utilize them by writing you. Have intended doing so
for several days but just kept putting it off until now.
I appreciated your letter so very much and also your efforts
in my behalf in writing Mother and Daddy. I never read a
better letter in my life than the one you wrote them, and it
certainly was true in every sense. They have nerver
mentioned receiving it to me other than Daddy asking me
several days after I received your letter how much it cost
to go to Williams & Mary. However, Aunt [
760] told me that
they had gotten it and that Mother felt pretty badly about
it, thinking you were laying all the blame on her for the way
events had worked out. And, I do not say that she is to
blame entirely, but I do say she could have made this easier
for me now and probably have prevented such a situation ever
arising if she had allowed me to go on to school when Daddy
was willing to send me. But, no, she would not consent for
her little daughter to venture a few miles from home and be
thrown up against the world and its temptations. By keeping
her at home she would be able to shield her from every ugly
and loathsome thing, but that was where she had a wrong slant
and conception of life. Those things can be found at home as
well as away from home and I think God purposely place such
things and temptations in our path to see if we are strong
enough to resist them or weak and unmindful of his
commandments enough to give full sway to them. I do
believe we have to meet them sometime or the other and NO
ONE can say or do anything to prevent us being hurt by such
events, that is if we allow ourselves to become lost in a
sea of bewilderment. God tells us what is the right and
wrong path to take, and if we heedlessly plunge ahead and
pursue our own desires and ideas, then if we become lost in
grief and despair, we can blame no one except our own
selves, and pray for forgiveness and some sign of inward
peace and contentment shown from Him.
I pray daily that once again I can have that feeling of
absolute calm and happiness in my heart and mind that once
existed there, and I sincerely believe that I can IF allowed
to work this out in my OWN way an do those things I know to
be right and honest in my heart. Then, and only then, can I
have peace for never can I follow the dictates of the family
in regard to this. It is not my desire nor intention to hurt
[
2062] more than I already have. By trying to make him want
to stay and work this out I made him hate me, I think, for a
short time, but I think he has gotten over that. We both
have hurt the other dreadfully but understanding the entire
why's and how's for some of our actions, we have tried to
forget all of that. Now, we know the outcome of everything,
and I really feel a sense of satisfaction in knowing that I
can meet this now with no bitterness or hatred in my mind or
heart.
8/20/40 She obtained a Ck. Physical - See
852-17.
3/14/44 She got married again.
5/18/57 See letter under
852-16 Reports saying perhaps her
marriage to [
2062] would have worked out had she been more
mature; she now felt she had been very immature and childish
for her age at that time; that she is now married to a very
wonderful, Christian man.
1/15/60 She writes that her husband is the Juvenile Probation
Officer for ... County, which keeps him rather busy... He
was District Governor of the ... Civitan International for
the year 1957-1958, and this involved much traveling for
him, as well as for myself... My vacation this year was
spent in Washington, D.C., attending the 68th Continental
Congress of the American Revolution. We had such an
enjoyable time. I have just completed three years as Regent
of our local D. A. R. Chapter and so wanted to attend one
Congress during my term of office. [...] and I spent as
much time as possible in between sessions browsing through
the genealogical volumes in the D. A. R. Library. I never
saw such information! I hope to go back sometime in the
next two years and spend a week acquiring what I lack."