(Q) Then [
137], Ma, [
140] and I all got into a mix up and
[
137] and I finally carried on the argument. "I don't
believe all that psychic work, or the stuff you are writing.
Your book is all bosh!" Angered by this I lost my temper and
struck [
137] on the back of the neck, and I noticed the stars
he saw as the blow landed. "Alright" said [
137], "That ends
it!" He went his way and I went mine. At home with my
mother I told her of the fight and break. "This is why I
need get the work published and gain some recognition," I
said. Then I took some paper to write on - "I must hurry
this manuscript along," I thought, but found the paper was a
printed advertisement of the N. Y. Central R. R. and was used
on both sides. "The idea of criticizing my work because of
this advertisement, written on both sides of this paper," I
again remarked to my mother, and found some paper on which
advertisements were printed on one side, allowing me to write
on the other. I proceeded to use this paper - yet there
seemed more confusion, with dishes, etc. "What are you going
to do now?" asked my mother, meaning for a livelihood - i.e.
as related to business. "We can live on a moderate income -
in a small way," I replied. "O no - not me," my mother
countered, "I will marry a man who will leave me some money.
I will not live like that." "Then here is where my exile
begins," I replied. "I'll get a job - we'll live away
somewheres very modestly. I'll see Alexander New again."
(A) In this there are many various phases of the mental
attitude of MANY individuals seen in this vision. As is
given and asked here, only as those relating directly to that
of [
900] is given for his interpretation - for his use.
In the first, there is seen that the entity critizes
[criticizes] self, rather than being criticized by others -
that is, wherein others ask questions, the entity often takes
same for criticism when such is not meant. However, in the
MENTAL the entity suffers as if it were criticism, and as
much as if it were a real break or blow struck in such
conditions. The variation, or that which shows, is as of
purely, in the body mental or body mental MIND of entity
suffering, the ABILITY of the entity, in blow struck, to see
the reaction, or that as is seen by the other entity, or the
stars, see? This lesson rather should the entity then take
from THIS portion of this vision or experience of
subconscious forces, for an experience of the body
conscious mind. As this was said, apply now then to self:
"Though He was the Son, learned He obedience by the things
which He suffered." Physical conditions suffered in, see?
Mental anguish suffered in, see? yet with that same
intent, purpose, to ever make the will of self One with Him.
Scorned by many, yet there was no guile found in Him. No
rebuke in the words of His mouth. No chastisement, save in
the strength of the Lord.
As to other portions now of the vision, as is seen in that
as of the writing as is necessary here, see? there is
presented, in that the entity finds that it is necessary now
that the writings be published, that he may gain recognition,
and through same others have a different concept of the work,
there is seen, that there have been advertisements concerning
the present writing of various stories, books, or conditions,
by the various publishers of books and magazines. The
entity, then, needs to prepare same and present same in this
way and manner, to and through these channels, and thereby
and through same will gain recognition, and see the great
force BEGIN, wherein MANY will call the entity blessed. Many
will rebuke, many will say "How can any good thing come out
of Nazareth?" yet many will find in same that strength as is
necessary in the Balm of Gilead.
As to that seen in the modest way - the beginning, the
division, as is said and given. Then DO NOT rebuke self! Do
not feel that the strength is being ebbed away by that of
criticism! Rather through same gain the greater knowledge of
the truths as are set in Him, and in APPLYING same give to
others the greater, the beautiful life as is presented
through same. This does not indicate, as is seen and as is
felt by the entity from the first vision of same, that only
to the lowly, only to those of low estate, will this
appealing come; yet, as the entity sees, knows, feels and
understands, that only that as is termed the mediocre class
of individuals in the physical world bear the brunt of the
whole nations, as a people, as of a nation, and of a people
and individuals, from same must come that balm, that leaven,
that will leaven the whole lump; and as the strength is
gained in the effort as is put forth, and as these lessons
are gained, the entity then must give to self and give to
others that great strength in that promise as has been given:
Though thou suffereth in quiet, though thou gain condemnation
even of thine own kin, yet in thy day I will recognize thee
as My Son. Then, let the truth as is seen in this vision -
that I MUST, I MUST continue, no matter what be the odds, no
matter what others may do, "for ME and MY house, WE will
serve the living God."
