5/17/44 Mother [
1306]'s letter to EC:
"I still feel too miserable to write. Am trying so hard to
look at things like I should but nobody'll ever know just how
much [
2299] meant to me or how much I miss him. He was so
grown up and smart. I could talk to him 'bout anything you'd
ordinarily discuss with adults and he understood and was so
sensible in his part of the conversation. Still can't
believe he's gone forever.
"I'm sure you all know how much I appreciate everything you
did for me. Know I couldn't have even survived without you.
The spray of snaps and white carnations was beautiful. He
got so very many flowers. I was so happy about that because
he loved them so was always picking some sort of blossoms and
bringing them in to some of us. I realize now and always
felt that he was entirely too good to be with us or even
mingle with other children - so tender-hearted, sweet and
smart.
"As soon as [
2299] died I said I had to talk to Cousin Edgar.
Don't know exactly why but want to so badly. I acted so
terrible early Wednesday [
5/10/44] morning when I called but
hope you both will forgive me. I'd been up day and night for
so long and eating so little that my mind was practically
gone - so frightened, too I stayed on the line while central
put the call through and everything sounded so strange.
Can't express my feelings but please try to excuse my
rudeness or whatever I said. Felt so sure before I even
got you on the phone that they weren't really putting the
call through - just couldn't believe I was talking to either
of you. I must've been mentally ill and didn't realize it.
"Poor little [
3634] is pathetic. Was with [
2299] from
morning 'til night. Even stayed close to the bed while
[
2299] was ill and kept saying he wished [
2299] was well so
they could play. He's cried for him several nights and
talks about him all the time. [
3634] doesn't seem very well
- have been taking him to Dr. Beard ever since the Saturday
after the burial on Friday but he's still having coughing
and wheezing spells. His mouth's been awfully red looking
and sore, too - don't know whether it's his stomach or what.
Am worried more about him now than ever. Suppose that's
natural after losing one.
"As soon as [
2299] died I said I wanted to go to Va. Beach
and talk to both of you. Feel sure you could help ease my
mind if only you could spare the time to talk to me. Just
keep thinking and thinking 'til I almost lose my mind. Think
getting away might help [
3634], too. He's torn all his nails
into the quick - lost without [
2299].
"Have had lots of washing, etc. to do - it was stacked almost
to the ceiling. Just about finished now. Do you think it
possible for me to find a place to stay if I come to the
beach? [
2036] and [
1352] both want to go with me. [
2036]
has some time off coming to her.
"If you think there's an apartment or small house available
I'd appreciate so much your letting me know. Or maybe
there's a traveler aid that I could write to. I do know that
you all don't have the time to look for me but would
appreciate any help you could give me.
"Thanks again for everything.
"P.S. Started this, as you see, on the 17th and am just now
on the 23rd getting it finished. I'm a poor excuse."
5/29/44 EC's letter to mother [
1306]:
"I have been wanting to write you for several days, but I am
like everyone else. I simply don't know what to say. I
don't know how to tell you how badly I felt about your loss.
You will just know that you will have someone waiting for
you, and sometime, somewhere it will all be made up to you if
you remain just the kind of Mother that [
2299] would like to
have. Remember that the Master said to all the people, "Who
is my Mother, my brother, my sister. They that do the will
of the Father." You will have that much more, then, to live
for.
"I only wish we could have done more to have been the means
of a real help and service. I wish it were possible for me
to have a good long talk with you. Yes, I understand full
well your anxiety when you called early that morning and knew
then that there was so little hope and you were really
frightened.
"How is [
3634] getting along now? I am sure he will miss him
very very much. Well, there isn't anything any better than
what Dr. Beard is doing for him. And it will be so much
better if she can get this corrected now and he doesn't have
to go through life with the possibility of its growing worse
as he grows older.
"I would love mighty well to see you and to have you here,
[
1306], but Virginia Beach in the summertime is a mad house
and getting a place for anything reasonable is out of the
books. That may sound rather rude, but please know I am
telling you for your own sake. I wouldn't want to have you
disappointed if you do come out here and then not be able to
find a place to live. You see the service men here with
their wives and babies wandering the streets, trying to find
a place to sleep and then they have to send them back home.
A little bit later in the fall it might be possible, but
there isn't such a thing as an apartment or a house available
now at the Beach. I have spoken to the people here for
several who want to come to the Congress, who wanted a little
apartment or house and there is no such thing to be had at
the Beach for several months.
"I certainly would love to see you. I haven't heard anything
from [
1352] and her baby. How are they getting along? She
has just forgotten that I am alive, I reckon.
"If you will write to Mrs. E. K. Milholland at the Beach she
has a rental agency and you can tell her what you want and
tell her when you want it. Tell her who you are, because she
is a good friend of ours, but I am afraid as I have been to
her myself and she tells me there is nothing to be had, that
she won't have anything right now.
"Do write me again-very soon. Give my love to everyone. I
just had a nice letter from [
5086] and [
3774]. [
5086] is
much better. When did you all see him?"
With love to everyone, Cousin Edgar
6/09/44 She wired for the second physical for [
3634]. See
3634-2.
