Edgar Cayce Readings, 2509-2

Time and Place: 3:30 to 4:05 P. M. Eastern War Time. ..., D.C.

TEXT

GC: You will give the relations of this entity and the universe, and the universal forces; giving the conditions which are as personalities, latent and exhibited in the present life; also the former appearances in the earth plane, giving time, place and the name, and that in each life which built or retarded the development for the entity; giving the abilities of the present entity, that to which it may attain, and how. You will answer the questions, as I ask them:
EC: (In going back over the years from the present - " - '37 - funny mind - '26 - yes, should have got married then" - etc. on back to birth date.)
We have the records here of that entity now known as or called [2509].
In giving an interpretation of the records as we find them here many phases of the entity's purposes should be taken into consideration.
Not as a condemnation nor yet as a laudation but rather as a warning to the entity, - there must be consistency in self if you would expect consistency in others. For, it becomes an irrefutable, unchangeable law, with what measure ye mete, or have meted to thy fellow man, with such measure will it be meted to thee again. For, indeed as has been indicated, it is necessary that offences come, but woe unto him by whom they come. Think not "I am come to destroy the law - I come to fulfill the law; and ye, each entity, must pay every whit and every farthing."
It is not by might and power but by the little leaven that leaveneth the whole lump. It is line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little, that each soul seeks and finds its relationship to the Creative Forces or God - so that it may apply same in its own experience with the fellow man.
In interpreting the records here, then, for this entity, [2509] - these we choose with the desire and purpose that, applied, this information may be a helpful experience; thus enabling the entity to fulfill the purposes for which it entered this present sojourn.
These experiences in the earth are not that one may glory in self, whether by fame or fortune or a wonderful accomplishment to the detriment of other souls, but that each shall ever be a channel through which blessings and help may come to others.
For, know, he that would be the greatest among his brethren will serve the more.
Astrologically, we find Venus, Saturn, Mars, Jupiter become the leading influences; not because of the position of the planets at the time of birth or the sign of the zodiac under which the entity was born. For, the characteristics of the physical being are not wholly in keeping with that of that termed the traits of those born at this particular period of the year.
In Mars and Saturn we find activity, because of the entity's sojourn as an entity in that environ; not as an individual but as an entity.
One very quick, then, in its mental activity.
One that may often be called by others a meddler and yet at other times too slow to catch hold - according to some with whom the entity might be active; yet a lover of beauty, one acquainted with good works, one appreciating activities in others, but in others too often. Know, it is as has been given of old, "Lo, it is within thine own self that ye must find peace, if ye would have peace with others." If you would have friends, show thyself friendly, if you would have love, be lovely in thy treatment of an thy association with others. If you would find patience, brotherly love, kindness, manifest it in self and it will come to thee.
As to the activities of the entity in the earth, these in part will be found to be contradictory in self, but there are many abilities in the entity - as indicated in the Jupiterian or the benevolent influences.
One that may find grace and mercy in the eyes of many. One that oft finds pity rather than true friendship following a long acquaintance or association. Ask the self why, and read that as given.
Not all of the appearances in the earth will be indicated here, but those that show the characteristics that are a part of the experience of the entity, rather than that held in the mental self. For, the entity is of a high appearance, and at times quite subtle yet gracious at others - outwardly. These come from the appearance just before this.
For, the entity was in the land of the present nativity, where there were those attempts to draw in the people for the rehabilitating of the lands in portions of Ohio, Indiana and Illinois.
The entity was among those peoples that were settlers in the land, and the entity was graciousness itself in its treatment of those about the entity, but - too often for the use of the own self. Thus the entity became a disappointment to many, yet in self was satisfied with that which it had obtained. Here, too, should be a lesson - never be satisfied but content. For, he that is satisfied has ceased to grow. Being content and consistent becomes another experience for an individual.
The name then was Susan H. Heliot.
The entity wielded an influence and a power among some of those individuals that are problems in the entity's experience today. To use those individuals as stepping stones is to bury self in karma that must be met in self.
The entity gained mentally, but questions might be asked as to the spiritual and material gain; yet there was an activity that to many was most satisfactory.
Before that the entity was in the Roman land, when there were the first presentations of courts and courtly activities, the preparations of games of athletic meets and the combative forces between champions of various groups, and the other leaders that were in jousts as of water or as of horsemen or the various activities with spear or with sword. All of these were enjoyed by the entity.
And in the present there is a feeling of listlessness at times at such and at others the desire to see the wielding of strength by those to whom the entity would vouchsafe its preference. These are unsatisfied, ungratified longings in the experience of the entity. These come from the experiences there as Cecile and from the experience before that.
For, before that the entity was in the Persian land when there was a great deal of pomp and show as a part of the experiences of those groups to which the entity belonged. There were questionings between the entity's group as a part of the royalty, and those peoples who had the privileges of learning the various modes of preparation of articles of apparel, or those that were uniform for various groups of people.
Thus class arose in the mind of the entity. And these are the big question marks in the experience of the entity in the present, as the entity finds too oft there is the easy way of comparison that becomes quite odious at times, as to lineage or as to the political or social position among its associations or friends. These all become a part of the entity's present experience from the activities in that land, during that period when the entity was known as Shaldaznar.
Before that the entity was in the Atlantean land, when there were the breaking ups owing to the activities from the sons of Belial, that would use the spiritual ideals for gratifying of material desires.
The entity was a princess who allowed the ego to become overindulgent in self-gratification.
As to the abilities of the entity in the present, that to which it may attain and use:
First find self. Know, from the very fact of thy consciousness in this material world, God is mindful of thee. Then, let's be appreciative and draw night unto Him while He may be found, for, in Him is life, light, and immortality. But those who gain, who attain, and who retain such must prove themselves worthy of acceptation by meting out to their fellow man that they would have given them by their Creator.
Study, then, to show thyself approved unto they ideal, a workman not ashamed, rightly dividing the words of truth and keeping self unspotted from condemnation by self or of questionings by others.
Ready for questions.
(Q) How can I enter into things without the fear of trespassing or of hurting others?
(A) By entering wholly into that as may be of His service, "Not my will, Lord, but Thine be done." There is no law against kindness, gentleness. Self-pity, self-glorification and fear bring trespassing.
(Q) How can I overcome the feeling that I am most misunderstood?
(A) Be honest with self as you would have others be honest with thee. In that manner ye may overcome all those things that bring doubt or fear.
(Q) Regarding the desire to be needed, please advise me in regard to my personal associations as follows: Has a serious mistake been made in drifting away from the man whom I thought I would eventually marry, who wrote me in June that altho he still loved me he was running away and marrying someone else?
(A) These become too personal. They must be answered within self. Know the law of the Lord is perfect. That thou hast measured, that thou hast sown, that thou must reap. Do it graciously, do it patiently, and y will find grace and mercy - as ye show grace and mercy.
(Q) What should be my attitude in regard to this situation? Have I hurt him, or is it best that conditions have worked out thusly?
(A) "Thy will, oh God, not mine, be done in me, through me, and may I ever be a channel of blessings to others."
We are through with this reading.
Copy to Self
Copy to Ass'n file

BACKGROUND

5/31/41 She secured a Physical Rdg., via her friend Mr. [2563].
8/30/43 [2509]'s letter to EC:
Mr. Edgar Cayce Virginia Beach, Virginia
Dear Mr. Cayce:
I just returned from home, where I spent a two weeks vacation with my mother and sister. My mother, who will be 85 the 26th of November, told me I was born at 2 p.m. June 12, 1894; that she had pneumonia at the time and we both almost passed out of the picture.
In my early years, from the time of my birth and into my twenties, I was very delicate and had many serious illnesses. One of my playmates even went so far as to tell me that her mother said I would not live to see my 12th birthday.
I grew up with a fear and mother complex. Could hardly bear to have my mother out of my sight and many a time I was awakened terribly frightened about something I had been dreaming. My mother calmed me by taking me to bed with her and I slept peacefully. She was so gentle and sweet and had such a quieting effect upon me.
I had older sisters, three of them, an older brother, and two younger sisters. The sister next to me was five years my senior and she and a sister two years her senior, had their own friends, and made me feel I was unwanted. Many times when I followed them they called me "Penny Dog" and chased me home. My brother, who looked after me before he got too involved in school and his own pals, finally abandoned me for them, which was, of course, natural. I felt very much alone and missed his companionship, altho I did spend many happy days with my two younger sisters, which was right and proper as they were nearer my own age.
Altho my older sisters were never really unkind (in fact, I was pretty much babied by the entire family) it was natural that they should not want me tagging after them. Needless to say, I grew up with a fear complex and a feeling that I was not wanted, which has followed me along the way. When out with a crowd, I always feel that I am not wanted and am at a loss to know what to do or say. I then want to go off by myself, and I feel that I am most misunderstood. I want to enter into things but don't know how. These things have hindered me more than I can say and have been my greatest obstacle and have caused me to make mistakes and lose friends. I am fearful of trespassing, fearful of hurting some one and yet when any one steps on my toes, unintentionally most of the time, so to speak, I want to strike back. On the other hand, I sacrifice my own comfort and health to do something for some one else. I always have a feeling that I must do more than is expected of any one else for fear I won't be liked. I want to be needed. These things have been growing for some time which I am certain accounts for my not being able to work out satisfactorily the two problems which are so bothersome.
Problem No. 1
I was jolted out of my complacency in June of this year by a friend, whom I thot I would eventually marry. He informed me by letter that he would always love me, etc., but he was running away and marrying some one else. It came as a complete surprise as I had thot that I was the only one in whom he had an interest. Altho in the past five or six years we have not seen much of each other (he had been working hard to save his business) I thot he had grown indifferent, and found that I had unconsciously been growing away from him and becoming deeply attached to some one who altho not legally divorced has not lived with his wife for about ten or twelve years. I did not blame any one but myself; the other person - No. 1 - sensed my attachment and stepped out as gracefully as he knew how. I know he thot he was making the way easy for me, altho he knew nothing of the marital status of No. 2. I cannot seem to forgive myself for hurting No. 1 and am wondering if a serious mistake has been made. The person I have been so devoted to seemed to need me so very much when I first met him. We have enjoyed the same things, have the same interest and there is not as much difference in age. Altho his children are grown and self supporting and he says he does not consider himself married, there is no legal separation. Consequently, we just drift along and my friends and his too cannot understand why some step is not now taken to regain his freedom. He was born July 24, 1888. [GD's note: I think this is Mr. [2563], who introduced her to A.R.E.] I happen to know that his marriage was a misfit and he has told me on many occasions that he was living a dull uninteresting life 'till he met me. I have let many opportunities slip by because I could not honestly pretend to care for any one else and I won't make an engagement with any one when he is in town and not busy, which was what brought No. 1 to the point of dropping out.
I didn't know I was going to write such a lengthy letter but this is all new to me and I am not certain of the type of information you need. I shall write you again and tell you about problem No. 2.
I do want to know whether I should sever this tie or whether to wait patiently for it to work out.
Sincerely, [2509]
9/01/43 [2509]'s letter to EC:
Mr. Edgar Cayce Association for Research and Enlightenment, Inc. Virginia Beach, Virginia.
Dear Mr. Cayce:
I have been none too happy in my present position and yet it could be ideal under certain circumstances, for my present employer, a Member of Congress, is a very fine man in many ways. Altho he wanted some one with Congressional experience he seems reluctant to give me much responsibility. I left an office where I had been given a great deal of responsibility to take this position because I felt obligated to do so due to the fact that I had worked for him when he was in Congress before and at the time of his defeat he recommended me for the position I held for the two years he was out of office. When he returned, I felt I owed it to him to accept his offer and I naturally assumed that I was to be given the first place in the office. The other Congressman did not want me to leave and went so far as to say that he would compete with any one else who tried to take me away from him. He said the decision, however, rested with me; that I was welcome to remain in his office as his Congressional Secretary as long as he was in office, but that he did promise the other man that he would release me if he returned to Congress.
After I resigned and found some one else to take my place, I was surprised to learn that I was not to be in charge of the office; that the girl he brought from his law office was not to work under me despite the fact that she knew nothing whatsoever about this work. She makes many mistakes, is arrogant and presumptuous and gets her own way by crying and going into regular tantrums when her mistakes are brought to her attention. In other words she does not want to start at the bottom and work up. She wants to begin at the top. Instead of harmony we have friction. Naturally I never feel at ease when in the office and I don't feel that the work I do is worth the effort that I put into it. Her work is put on a par with my own and they both seem to resent the contacts I have made in the Government service, which are invaluable to a new Member. Initiative and knowledge seem to matter little to them; all that seems to matter is that her vanity must be gratified at any cost.
Before I was given the position when this man first came to Congress he told my sponsor he didn't want a secretary who new more than he. I had 14-years experience at that time on Capitol Hill. He does not know that this was relayed to me. I sometimes wonder if knowing that is responsible for my complex.
I hope a life reading will help me to solve this troublesome problem.

REPORTS

10/27/43 [2509]'s letter to EC:
Dear Mr. Cayce:
I found my life reading interesting but confusing.
Yes, I should have married in 1926 and you will never know what sad, heart breaking memories your reference to that date brought me. I met the one entity at that time who changed my whole world. I knew him such a short time and yet the three months that he was here was an eternity. He left for England early in 1927 and fully expected to return after making certain adjustments. Years went by and not until 1937 did I really lose hope when I heard indirectly that he had married. The bottom of my world dropped out for I believed he would make good the last thing he wrote just before he sailed. "I want to come back to America and to you. I AM coming back." When his marriage was confirmed something lovely and beautiful died in me. Deep in my heart, I haven't forgiven him. I have a feeling, however, that I must forgive before I can progress and before real happiness and contentment can be realied [realized?]. This must come from my heart however.
The present entity [[2563]?] appeared upon the scene in my darkest moments and seemed to need companionship as did I - Naturally my heart went out to him and I have grown very fond of him but am deeply grieved and hurt that he seems content to drift along as we have since 1937. I have let many fine opportunities pass me by because of him and I condemn myself most severely at times because of my inconsistency and lack of firmness but nothing seems to matter when I am with him and all my good resolutions go to the wind. I feel that I should take some stand and stand firm but haven't sufficient courage to let go entirely and cease fretting for something that does not seem to belong to me altho I have thought for some time that there must have been a reason for us having been brought together. More than anything else I have wanted to make him happy. I have asked myself why I have had to go thru with this experience if it means nothing more permanent than our present status and why I could not have had the love and companionship of the person who captured my heart so completely in 1926 and seemed so right for me.
I realize the man about whom I write before my reading meant nothing to me beyond friendship but I was sorely tempted to use him as a means of escape. His marriage fortunately prevented that.
I cannot see myself in the role of Susan H. Heliot in the "present nativity" residing in the lands of Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois or do I not understand? I never lived in any of those states, altho I spent a few weeks in Ohio and Illinois. Nor can I see myself in the role of a meddler. I sometimes think I am not interested enough in my friends' problems and am never curious about them nor do I ever question them or try to pry into their private lives. Purity in mind and heart have always meant more to me than money and social position altho I like the niceties of life and enjoy beautiful sunsets, out door life and the beauties of nature. I am at my best at home or when in the mountains walking along some lovely trail. As a child, I was always looking for beauty and perfection.
Altho I go out of my way to help my friends if they voluntarily tell me their troubles, I never intrude upon their privacy.
My office associate is arrogant and ambitious and uses her position to be rude and high hatty with those she considers her "inferiors". She studies and copies everything I do except to be nice and friendly to every one who contacts our office regardless of their station in life. I make friends wherever I go and cannot understand her attitude. I am human enough to resent her condescending manner. My experience in the business world has taught me that there must be a head in every office - one in charge so to speak and each person with specific duties to perform - and it seems inconsistent and unjust for a man to bring some one in an office who knows so little about the work and uphold her in her arrogant ways. I haven't any desire to order her around or to lord it over her and I do not consider myself better or superior to her except that I do know my work and how to run and manage an office.
The statement that "the character of the physical being are not wholly in keeping with that of that termed the traits of those born at that particular period of the year" is not quite clear. I have many friends born under the sign of Gemini whose characteristics are similar to mine.
I have expressed myself quite frankly but am doing so for the reason that I have a real desire to get to the bottom of these perplexing problems and work them out scientifically and spiritually. My great need is for more growth and my longing for my right place is very keen indeed.
Sincerely, [2509]
10/30/43 EC's letter to [2509]:
Dear Miss [2509]:
Replying to yours of the 27th, we would like if possible to get some help out of the information given you, but it is such a thing that there is nothing in it at all, but if it is true, you are about one out of a thousand whom we have found such. I don't think I could analyze this for you unless I could sit down and read it with you and this is impossible of course. If you could write out questions so that I could answer them, in the light of the experiences we have had with such information. Many people have said, often we don't want to see ourselves as we are presented in these readings, but if we analyze ourselves very carefully, we may find that there are urges that we have not given very much expression to, but have caused much of the turmoil within us.
Or if you would not object to having some of our friends who have had wonderful results with such readings, going over it with you, we could give you the names and addresses, and I am sure they are not meddlers and would consider this as an opportunity to be of help, for they are studying the information for the good they would get out of it.
Sincerely, Edgar Cayce