Edgar Cayce Readings, 2970-1

Time and Place: 10:55 to 11:35 A. M. Eastern War Time. Washington, D.C.

TEXT

GC: You will give the relations of this entity and the universe, and the universal forces; giving the conditions which are as personalities, latent and exhibited in the present life; also the former appearances in the earth plane, giving time, place and the name, and that in each life which built or retarded the development for the entity; giving the abilities of the present entity, that to which it may attain, and how. You will answer the questions, as I ask them.
EC: (In going back over years from the present - " - '40 - changes - '35 - " etc., on back to birth date.)
Yes, we have the records here of that entity now known as or called [2970].
In giving an interpretation of the records here for this entity, the real character of this entity - in the minds of many - would only exist in imagination. Yet here we have the existence, materially, of a very unusual personality, and an individuality that needs self-analyzing, with very definite choices made by the entity as to its yardstick or rule by which it would measure its life, its purposes and its ideals.
Then, in choosing the interpretations as we find them for this entity from these records, we choose those that, as we find, may be helpful and beneficial to the entity, not only in its analyzing of itself but in the application of itself in the directions in which - if there is the practical application - the greater development or unfoldment may come to the entity.
In analyzing, then, we find these as apparent - in the characteristics and in the personality, and in the unusual individuality of the entity:
This entity is more confused in itself than it is in others; and the entity depends upon others, or questions the advisability of listening to others, when it should the more often listen to the urges within self.
For, the entity is much nearer being an example for others than the entity gives itself credit for, or even ALLOWS others to think - by the way it approaches almost every problem.
This is indicated in how the entity has listened to this or that individual indicating that if he or she were to do this, or to have the vibration of that, the urges from this or that, there would be a difference. And the entity finds little or none, after the first emotional urge passes, from the change made.
This the entity should know, this the entity should take as its basis of its self-analysis, and of its purpose; for too oft the entity finds that when it has made the choice, by the next day it doubts whether it should have changed or whether it shouldn't have done something else! Why?
Because you listen to others too much!
In this basis, then: Know that thy body, thy mind, thy soul, is a manifestation of God in the earth - as is every other soul; and that thy body is indeed the temple of the living God. All the good, then, all the God, then, that ye may know, is manifested in and through thyself - and not what somebody else thinks, not what somebody else does! For, that is a nice way of the devil in his workshop - "Do because somebody else does! Think of that because somebody else does!"
The Lord thy God is ONE - as thou art one.
Then, be one - in thy purpose. Know, as given of old, the man called Jesus is the Savior of the world. He has purchased with His own will that right for direction. And He has promised, "I will never leave thee - I will not forsake thee," save that THOU - as an individual - cast Him out, or reject Him, for counsel from some other source.
Base thy analysis and thy purposes, then, on that declared in the 30th of Deuteronomy, and as promised by Him in the 14th, 15th, 16th and 17th of John. And ye will become positive, ye will become a light for others. For you do not light a candle and put it under a bushel. You do not learn of Him and keep it closed in a book, in a picture, in a song, but ye live His life, ye live His purpose. Thus ye become the witness for Him day by day.
It is true that the home is as some other place to thee, save as it is the desire of thy companion and of thyself to be like others and have a home. These are urges, just as the analyzing of self, not listening to the voices without. For, know that His promise is that He will meet thee within thine own temple, not in John Henry or in James Monroe, or in anyone else's - but thine own!
And these are the things that ye need in thy life to make that pattern which ye ARE, innately within thyself: To become a messenger for Him and a channel of blessings to others day by day.
As to the urges astrologically, - these have come to mean little, though at times their signs and symbols have entered into thy consciousness. Yet ye have gradually eliminated them for something else. What?
Would you eliminate thy life, thy hope? Then, reject not Him - Who is the way and the truth and the life, and has been and is the only way. They that climb up some other way are thieves and robbers of their own selves, and their own opportunities. For He ALONE can give peace in thy consciousness. For He is the Prince of Peace, the maker of peace, the builder of peace in the hearts of those that seek His ways.
As to the appearances in the earth, - these have been quite varied; and only are signs or symbols of the manner in which ye have allowed thyself to manifest, or of that ye are innately urged to do and be within self.
For, we are - physically - that we have digested for the body.
We are mentally that which we have thought, but it hasn't added one whit to the physical, has it?
We are spiritually that we have digested in our mental beings.
And if He walk with thee, ye will never be alone!
Before this the entity was among those who journeyed to the far West, in the land of the present nativity, during those periods when there was the excitement for gold and material gains. Ye were not satisfied, and longed for a home; and ye haven't quit seeking gold yet - as a security.
There's no security in worldly possessions. For the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, and the silver and the gold. If ye use same for self-indulgence or self-gratification ONLY, ye do so to thine own undoing. And ye are not alone - this is man's failing, and the devil's way of handling man. For it brings glory to his own ego to possess, or to be looked up to.
Forget not, "He that is the greatest among you is the servant of all."
In that experience ye gained mentally, but that desire to go and come, that desire to never call any place a place of satisfaction, hasn't been satisfied. This must yet be builded within self.
The name then was Samantha Rubinson.
Before that the entity was in the Promised Land, in that portion where the Master oft walked - in Galilee. Hence the entity came under that direction, that teaching, but because of fear of oppression, because of those things which came about in the experience with the beheading of James, the entity became unstable in itself.
Know, as given, thy body, thy mind and thy soul are ONE. Where ye have fallen short is in the recognition of that, even as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are ONE! In what? Not body, not mind, but in purpose, in hope, in desire; those things that are invisible yet are the ruling influences in the application of the relationships of individuals one to another. Individualized, they are not one; spiritualized, they are one.
Keep the faith.
In that sojourn, as Lydia, ye knew sorrow, ye knew joy. Ye were pulled from one place to another. THERE, thine own companion in the present was then thy companion. He sought not to make a home, neither did ye; but ye added much to the good of the activities of the church later in that experience.
For ye kept the letters, the communications with many of the disciples and Apostles.
Before that (though not all, these indicate the trend of the entity in the present), the entity was a man, an interpreter of the law, and a son of Meshach, in the periods when there was the rewriting, or the translation, of the law - at the time of Ezra and Nehemiah, when the walls had been rebuilded and there was the reestablishing of the relationships with those that had been disturbed because of the intermarriage with the peoples of the native lands - that were, to individuals, of the same blood. Yet by those in authority much of these were set aside, to the undoing - or misinterpreting - of many.
The entity aided in translating the law which had been preserved from the writings of Joshua, of Joseph, of Moses.
In the present these are manifested in that the entity is a good teacher, a good interpreter for self - and yet few interpret the same in the entity that the entity interprets in self! A good reader, a good datastician. These arise from the experience then, as Samathana.
Before that the entity was in the Egyptian land during the periods following the changes wrought with the passing of the Priest, Ra Ta.
The entity then was among those in the offices in the Temple of Sacrifice, and was the first to declare that most of that attempted had been from the wrong direction. Thus the freedom, thus the disputations which arose after that experience.
The name then was Pel-Etu.
As to the abilities in the present, - these may be what the entity chooses to make them.
But as a teacher, as an instructor, as a director, or WHATEVER the entity chooses - if it sets its head to accomplish it, it may.
Study, then, to show thyself approved, along the lines as indicated, and ye will not falter, but find grace and favor, even as ye show same to others.
Ready for questions.
(Q) Should I give up my present very good position in the War Department, and return to my home in the West?
(A) Not until after the war.
(Q) Should I urge my husband to give up his position, with pension rights, and come here to live, or continue married and living separate, each working?
(A) For the duration, continue each working in their present environs. But do keep the closer contact one with another. Do have their purposes and ideals growing one towards another.
(Q) If we do continue, for the duration as we are, will we ever have a home together again?
(A) As indicated, what you set your heart to do ye can do - if you will!
(Q) If I am to remain in present position, how can I improve myself, to increase my security and bring about better harmony around me?
(A) You must find harmony within self, you must find security within self, as has been indicated. Ye cannot create it about you until you have it within yourself.
We are through for the present.
Copy to Self
Copy to Ass'n file

BACKGROUND

4/11/43 [2970]'s letter to EC:
"I would like definite information from this interview and for that reason I am going to ask some specific questions, as that seems to me the best way for you to be able to give me the type of information I want, or THINK I want. If you feel that I have been unwise in my questioning, I surely will be grateful if you will disregard it and give me whatever you decide is for my greatest good.
"1.) Should I give up my present, very good position in the War Department, and return to my home in the West? 2.) If not, should I urge my husband to give up his position with pension rights, and come here to live, or continue married and living separate, each working? If we do continue, for the duration as we are, will we ever have a home together again? 3.) If I am to remain in present position, how can I improve myself to increase my security and bring about better harmony around me? 4.) Is there any special ability or talent that I could take up, at this late date and be successful? If so, what should I make my life work from now on? 5.) Why does some music, according to type, produce either extreme joy and exultation, or depression and mental torture and even to physical nausea, yet seemingly, I have no talent in music? 6.) How can I overcome the skipping and flitting about of this bird-like mind of mine, that I may gain the mental and spiritual ability for deep concentration, for the purpose of understanding the Universal, living, reality, God? This really is the ONLY question of any life, since it is the ONLY purpose of any life; how to so live, that by this living, we will progress toward our highest possible spiritual attainment, in each life?
"Please make my appointment sometime in the forenoon, with the hour as early as conveniently possible for you. It is very difficult for me to be away from the office only in the morning, and I want to remain at home on the morning you designate for my interview..."

REPORTS

5/09/43 [2970]'s letter to EC:
"...Each time I read over the paper, whether I have left it aside for several days, or just read it before, I come up with the same feeling - 'so what?'
"So far, I have not been able to figure out any way to apply the information toward my improvement. It just does not 'click' with me, as you say. I do not even recognize myself in most of it.
"Apparently, I sway like a thistle in the breeze, with each idea that is wafted by, I go floating along with it until another comes along.
"Yes, very truly I am more confused in myself than in others. I am much more concerned in trying to understand myself than others, and I am more confused than ever as I try to examine myself in this light. I just do not understand, for example the seemingly conflicting statement 'the entity depends upon others, or questions the advisability of listening to others.' If I depend on others, how can I also question the advisability of listening to them, or since I haven't the stability to have reliable ideas, would not that in itself prevent my confidence in 'listening to the urges within self?'
"In paragraph two [2970-1, Par. 8], I cannot see the entity as a worthy example for others. If the above is 'my approach to every problem,' or as is brought again into the next paragraph - 'has listened to this or that individual, indicating that He do this or that; seeking for change which does not satisfy.' Would that kind of person know whether he was satisfied or not? I, at least, know that I am not satisfied with the present state of my unworthy existence. That is why I am seeking the way for improvement and progress.
"I do not recognize myself as this wishy-washy person, who does whatever the herd does, thinks whatever the other fellow suggests, and floats along in general on the other fellow's mind power. My friends and family have always had the idea that I was too much inclined to 'listen to no one,' and to 'keep my plans to myself and plow my own row.' However, we often refuse to see in ourselves someone whom we would thoroughly dislike and I may, therefore, be 'kidding myself' in not recognizing ME.
"As to the former sojourns on this planet, I see no way by which I can apply this knowledge to improve my present spot on the path. Since I do believe in reincarnation, it is simple enough to believe I may have lived as the personalities described, but again, What am I to do about it? How can it help me now to know about these things? "The statement - 'abilities in present may be what the entity chooses to make them' - seems to me a stock phrase that is given by anyone and everyone on all ideas for self-improvement, and it is something which cannot be either proven or disproven, since it is so all inclusive to me, it simmers down to meaning nothing.
"As a teacher, instructor, director' - this might mean something to a youngster in planning a career, but one must have something, some knowledge or skill, to impart before they can teach or direct others. I do not have, so there again, how can this apply to me?
"Please do not think I expected this to bring me some kind of a miracle or slick technique by which I could make a 'silk purse out of a sow's ear.' I am not looking for anything like that. And I do expect to dig at this until I have found a lot more in it which is meant for me. From the Bible references I am studying and from each paragraph, I will give study separately. I am sure I have not reached under the surface on what is here for me. However, you suggested that I write my questions and I have tried to give you my reaction after the first few weeks of study. I may be seeing in some of the statements a different meaning than is intended, as I realize the same words do not always carry the same meaning to different people.
"In the meantime, I shall continue to study..."
5/14/43 EC's letter to [2970]:
"Thank you for yours of the 9th. I wish I was a good enough typist to write you a full explanation as I see it of your reading, but I am not, as I can only use the hunt and punch system. And I'm not very good at that. And I haven't been able to get help, as they have gone to war or the government.
"Don't think you will find the information contradictory, however, when it speaks of some phase of your character. It isn't referring to the whole purpose, but the individual talent mentioned.
"Would you go to other friends there in Washington and discuss it with them.if I arrange that for you?
"However, I feel very sure if you will study the scripture with the information, you will not find them at variance, and will come out of it with flying colors.
"After you have studied it another week or so, if you don't find any help, send it back. I certainly don't want to give you something as is worthless to you..."
7/14/43 [2970]'s letter to EC: "I have been following your suggestion that I read and study the reading, and then lay it aside and sort of let it 'jell,' and come back to it and start in all over again. I still do not seem to be able to get 'my teeth into it,' and get any specific or tangible suggestions that I can really apply and use as a working basis for my own improvement. I am sure the fault is with me, and please don't think I am blaming you in any way. I realize fully that it is just my hard luck if I haven't 'what it takes' to find the 'key' to what you have given me and to be able to apply it.
"I had hoped that I might find it possible to get away from work to come down for the Congress, then when I found I could not make that, I still hoped I might be able to come down for a week or so, and sort of spend my vacation working on your farm. And if farming happened to be hammering a typewriter, even that would be a rest and change from what I am doing in the War Department. But it looks like I am going to have to take any vacation [I can get]. I have just one or two days at a time, and that will not give me a chance to run down there. So, for the present, that is out.
"In your last letter, you suggested that it might be worth my while to discuss my reading with some friend of yours here. I have hesitated to accept this suggestion partly because most people are too busy with their own affairs these days to be troubled by things that are of no interest or purpose to them, and I am rather reluctant to discuss myself as a 'lab specimen' with a stranger, but if you recommend them, I will try, as I seem to be helpless in working this out for myself. And really, it is not so much that I have put the money into something that I seem to have gotten nothing in return; it is the very urgent feeling that there IS something which I need; to be gained from it if I can just put my finger on the right spot to 'open the hidden door.' So, whatever you advise or suggest, I will try to follow..."
7/19/43 EC's letter to [2970]:
"I have yours of the fourteenth, and I know just how you feel about trying to read over the information when you are not acquainted much with the terms of such information. I believe you have something worth while. You will find in your telephone book, that is, ..., Va., ... Call Mrs. Poss and tell her who you are and what you want to talk to her about. She and her husband both are well acquainted with the work. Each of them have had their own readings, so they will be very glad to be of help. I am sure you will find them very pleasant. Until recently Mrs. Poss has been a government worker herself, as her husband is now. Call her. Then if you do not find what you want, let me know and I will try to analyze it myself. "Thanking you for your letter and hoping to be of a real service..."
8/16/43 [2970]'s letter to EC:
"I received your recent note, suggesting that I call Mrs. Poss. I had known that Miss [...] had been in touch with her and admired her so much; also that Mrs. Poss had called on her for help and advice in carrying out some of her instructions, and I felt that was enough for her to bother with at one time. So I discussed it with Miss [...], and we had in fact planned and hoped that I would be able to meet Mrs. Poss, but I was just determined that I would not call her.
"Then I took some time off to get up to date with my housecleaning, etc., and Miss [...] called to know if I would meet her and Mrs. Poss downtown for lunch. Of course, I was delighted. We all three had lunch in one of the nice hotel coffee shops and Mrs. Poss and I spent the rest of the afternoon getting acquainted. My vacation so far this summer has been limited to just one lovely afternoon, and if I do not have another day, it will be a lovely summer vacation.
"I very seldom meet people whom I let come into my heart with that quiet, deep awareness, that they have been near and dear to me 'always' but I did have just that reaction toward [...]. I do not pretend to understand why, and it does not matter. It was just one of those things.
"We did have a grand talk. I had taken my reading, and she went over it with me. What a grand little press agent for all God's 'chillen' she is. She has among her many talents, one that she surely does not hide, and that is a faculty for making, even the lowliest of people, believe that their own small nitch, if it is filled to the satisfaction of God, is worthy in rank among the highest and noblest. I think if I associate with her a bit, I will even learn to have faith in myself.
"Miss [...] and I spent the past Saturday evening at the [...] home, and we both had a most delightful evening, and I believe they also enjoyed it. I may never be able to use, or to apply the reading as you would have me do, but I am well repaid in that through it I have come to know these lovely folks and through them, to know more about you and your work. Their respect, admiration, and love for you and your work is truly something very precious in these days of casual friendship. And I know that I am blessed in that I have come even into the far outer circle of your influence. I shall continue to study..."
11/30/43 [2970]'s letter to EC: "Your letter of November 1st I answered immediately. I have been holding it since 'for consideration.' Now I will try again. Enclosed you will find my check for $25.00. I had saved this for War Bonds, but I am glad to put it to work for a more constructive cause, as my feeling is, that the more money we pour into the bloody maw of this 'War Machine,' the bigger and bloodier the war will grow.
"I have reviewed my reading again to see if any indication in it that I might be qualified for some phase of the work you have outlined. I know it would be a privilege to work with the Association, but I do question whether I would have the training or qualifications you would require. I am not a writer although I have had training in journalism and speaking. I have, however, had much experience in analyzing, condensing, assembling and indexing, in my work with the government in the past eight years. A number of years working for Western Union and in private business have taught me to meet the public with tact and gracious understanding.
"I have wondered about the possibility of getting a leave of absence, in order that I might come and help out, even for a few months, but that is impossible; only by a doctor's orders. I look pretty healthy for that. I am in charge of a War Department Photographic Library, and help to spread pictures of the present holocaust all over the world. In my heart, I know there is nothing essential and surely not constructive in what I am doing. For the last several years I have been troubled by the feeling, that in these many years I have lived, I have really done nothing, or accomplished anything specific, to make me worthy, in my own mind, of the space I have occupied. And I have had a desire to get into some kind of work that would give me the satisfaction of being more worthy of the privilege of living.
"If you check my file, you will see that you advised me 'not to quit my War job, until after the war.' Therefore, I would hesitate to resign here unless you would make a Check reading to determine whether it would be advisable for the best interest of the Association, as well as assurance that I would have enough salary to live, since I have no other income. If, after doing this, you would like to see me, I will run down over some weekend and we will go into details.
"I will be anxiously awaiting your reply..."
6/02/44 She was present for 2970-2, a Physical reading. GD's note: See interim correspondence under 2970-2.
7/01/45 [2970]'s letter to EC:
"Your recent letter regarding reports, follow-ups, etc. from those who were blessed by receiving Life readings: I am sure there is nothing about my Life reading, the follow-up, or anything I am likely to do with the life in question, that would be of any particular interest or value in the records. However, there are just a few little 'tie-ins' that have cropped up from time to time that I cannot remember whether I have written you or not. So I will send them along and it will take you less time to shy them at the waste basket than it does me to write them, which suits me perfectly if you concur with my hunch that such things are just stuff.
"I went to the west coast with my father at about the age of eleven. Some place in the process of seeing San Francisco, we suddenly came out onto a vista across the water, and into the hills, which struck me as something I 'knew very well.' I said to my dad, 'I have seen that place before. It is like coming back to a place where you have lived one time.' He said, 'Maybe it was a picture.' But I remember that I argued that could not be, as I could remember the whole view in every direction, which could not possibly be put into a picture. I cannot remember what my father said, but something about people's memories being a lot more remarkable than we give them credit for. Another spot that I walked into and was almost knocked out with the 'feeling of recognition,' which I could not account for, was a certain spot in one of the big redwood forests. When my reading showed that my incarnation before this had been spent in the 'gold rush' days of California, I felt there must be some reason for my feeling of familiarity with certain spots which I surely felt I did remember, and knew I had never seen.
"Another: I am not the kind of person who is fortunate enough to enjoy a good cry over a movie or book, though I do enjoy and 'live along with them' as I read or see them. I am just not the Weeping kind. Much to my surprise, when reading The ROBE, and at a spot that there was really nothing of particular pathos, I suddenly found myself strangely affected, weeping copiously and almost overcome with grief and emotion. I was so surprised at my strange behavior I had a good mind to lay aside the book and go see my doctor and see if I needed my head examined. Many places in the book did move me deeply, but this particular spot was not sad, and I could see no reason why if I wanted to be sad about it, I could not be reasonable about the whole thing and be sad in the proper places. Then the next paragraph informed me that the story was at that point dealing with the life of myself in another incarnation (according to my reading), where I lived and came into close contact with the Master.
"I forgot to mention that one of my brothers and also my husband often called me by the name which was mine, according to the reading, in my Western incarnation. For some unknown reason they often used this name, though it was not at all like my name as used by my family or my husband, though it is quite similar to my full first name..."
2/10/46 [2970]'s letter: "...You know, my reading said I should not return to ... until after the war. I went back there in November, to make arrangements about the furniture, etc., what I should sell and what I should move back home. My husband informed me he wanted a divorce instead of me. That was pretty much of a blow. Since he had been writing me to plan on making the move this spring, to come home permanently, that is what I planned. So I am in a bad state of chaos, so far as my personal life is concerned..."
1/31/50 [2970]'s report:
It [I] was through reading the book TIR which came to Miss [813] who was staying at my house that I first learned of the Readings and Mr. Cayce. With this I felt there was a chance of getting a lot of answers to "questions" which I had not so far found. I had read much and studied with some of the so called Occult schools - The AMORC Rosicrucians for some ten years. Was attending the lectures of Swami Permenanda in DC and had been for many years. This had given me the most lucid understanding of the Bible that I had been able to find. I had tried the Orthodox churches, from time to time through the years and just did not get the "answers" I wanted about the whole picture of "Why are we here?"
As to the statement in first paragraph [Par. 4] that "real character of this entity...in minds of many...would exist only in imagination." I do remember that as a growing youngster I found so often that my family and friends seemed so often to miss entirely what I was trying to do or say - this of course resulted in much of teasing and just plain "deviling" of my many brothers - and as I grew older I finally learned that it made very little difference whether others know the "inside workings" of you or not, so long as you understood. I do not remember that I gave too much study as to the "yardstick". As kids we were taught the principles of fairness and right dealing - and I think the first memory of a Quotation, was that of the Golden rule - But am sure that I did not have any deep and serious conviction about living it, above that of an average kid in a large family. So it was after the living of a good half of the average lifetime - when I received the reading that I took serious thought of my "purpose and ideals". After the reading came I did spend a lot of time in self analysis and I surely did not think too much of the entity I looked at.
I was never just able to recognize myself as one who "listens to this or that individual" - "depending on others" - "or questions the advisability of listening to others" - this seems like a contradiction to me...? However as a youngster my family surely thought me entirely too independent of the advice of others - and seems to me my friends have always accused me of the same "independence" I do know that the real me has never had a very deep respect for the opinions of others. This I have often wondered about - when I know that I might be listening to one who was highly trained or had studied much on some particular thing and still I could not give credit to their declarations re same.
I have truly tried through the recent years, to follow my own judgment, my own hunches etc. etc... However I must say that I do not find it possible to have confidence in myself in doing this - nor have I had any special proofs that this is the "right" way for me, when I have done this... Again my friends and family so often have accused my of "secretiveness" re my affairs and whatever I do - because I have so little inclination to discuss what I may plan, with anyone - apparently I have done much more of THIS that I have given myself credit for..."
I am still asking, in the face of the above lack of knowing my own real self where is there nay reason for "the entity much nearer being an example of others."
As to the admonition - "Know thy body, thy mind, thy soul, is a manifestation of God in the earth" - I felt sure that I had right good understanding of this due to my years of study with the Swami... And the objective of that teaching is "know the Self" awaken the Self to the "realization of the Self within" etc...BUT I will say that I was well on the way to accepting the Hindu belief that there have been many masters through the ages - that Jesus was just ONE of them... I surely did not doubt Hid Divinity but I think had accepted into my consciousness that there are other Masters who had taught the Golden Rule - that we must Know the Self to Know the Highest Principle (God) If, at that time I did know Jesus as the Unique and Only Master for this Age and the Western World, I still saw no harm in rating the other great Masters of other times and other lands, as of equal importance, according to their time and place.
I have read and studied and memorized much of the bible references suggested... I have given much thought and study and medication to the need for me to know as My master and My Way, Jesus. And I have of course come to place him as the Only Master who can give me the Way to see, to know, to Realize - "The Lord thy God is One" - that I may know my Soul as a manifestation of God in the universe. I have come to know that Only as I do find him within the Temple of my heart, only thus can I have his love and guidance and assurance. Not that I am, at all times able to find Him to my complete joy and satisfaction - but I now do know that when I fail in this, the lack is in me - in my manner of seeking.
It was interesting to me in the first incarnation listed to find that it had been in Calif. I realized for the first time then, why I had the feeling of familiarity of so much of the land, the scenery, in Calif when I was taken there as a youngster and lived and visited over much of the same territory that I must have known in that life. When my father first took me up in some of the high hills in San Francisco, I remembered of remarking to him that I felt that I could remember this place - the hills in some direction that I remembered pointing to and specifying, that I remembered them so well - As I remember it my father did not pay too much attention but he did not say I was "talking through my hat" either - something about "memory being hard to regulate or something like that".
My present name contains the name Samina - as it given Samantha in one incarnation and another as Samanthana... With the fact that as a kid my brothers called me "Samanthe" and also my Husband called me that - all in a teasing way - the brothers really got a raise from me whenever they called me that - often resulting in arbitration by mother that they should not "tease" and take advantage of a girl etc etc -
As to the business of not having a home. In early married life we decided to save toward buying a home wherever we choose, when we were ready for retirement - there fore no home was purchsed - as a telegraph operator we did move about right much, but man operators had their home in the towns were we spend many years. We did talk of buying but finally decided against it... I do not yet have a home of my own though have of late years been deeply concerned about this lack and have done much figuring about possibility of doing something about same.
As to the sojourn in the Promised Land where I cam under the teachings of the Master - It has always been difficult for me to see HOW and WHY - after ever having that knowledge in my consciousness - HOW can I fail to see and use it to a much greater extent, both in helping others and myself, than I do??? I am told to analyze myself and to give careful attention to the yard stick - by this yard stick I must admit that I do not need a yard stick - one inch is much to much, to measure all that I need and I don't need all of that even.
The Palestine incarnation does give me the incentive to do a lot of study about the meaning in another reference - "They who climb up some other way are thieves and robbers of their own selves." I am sure that this combination - the Palestine reference and this started me to giving a bit more analytical thought about the study under Swami and resulted in the assurance that I was not getting quite the satisfaction out there that I had believed I was. And of course I cam out of it with a much closer understanding and fellowship with Jesus as My Master. In reference to the incarnation as son of Meshach as an interpreter of the law - I do find that in reading some of the metaphysical and occult and mystical books with others, in groups or other individuals that I have often had them remark that I seem to "get the all over picture, the background, and can explain it to them so much better than they can get for themselves" - I had set that down, just that they did not bother to read carefully - but it might be that the things came to me a bit easier - I wouldn't know.
As to the Egyptian incarnation I have always been interested in the history and stories of Egypt and am especially fond of the old pictures - say in Book of the Dead, etc... Since the Temple of Sacrifice was a fore runner of the modern Hospital - I have been told by some of these who have gone over my readings with me - who also know my feeling about modern medical practices - Surgeons and Doctors being so terribly wrong in much of what they do - that this is a carry over from this Egyptian period.
Questions
1 - I did not return to the West until after the war.
2 - I probably did not keep in as close touch as I should - because of the heavy demands on time and strength of the war work - At any rate - when I finally did return to my husband - going back as soon as could get the time, after the way - to spend my Anniversary with husband to make arrangements to make the move permanent etc - on the Anniversary day - I was told that husband wanted a divorce... This was a terrific shock to me - I decided afterwards that it may have had something to do with my having been with this same one a husband in one and probably other lives - and do to that I had that absolute conviction that the physical separation was not "taking a chance" (as my friends warned me - and I refused to believe)... That is one time that did not "listen to others" enough - or at least the separation just might have been avoided - who can say?
Q3 - Apparently I did not set my heart to the plan for keeping the home, as strongly as I could or should - as the divorce would indicate - I do know that I had made plans at that time for the return to the West - then - before the war got any further along - I changed them and continued on my job. I also realize that I fully believed, when I ask this question -that if I did not return West at that time that I would never do so - How much THAT frame of mind may have had to do with the final result - Who knows?
Q4 - I moved from the War Dept position of working on the pictures as soon after the war as could be released. The continued work on the Horror pictures seemed to be feeding into my consciousness too much of the negative, the destructive, the evil of the times. And for that reason again (against the advice of many of my friends) I left the very good job for one which promised much less chance for advancement. US Dept of Agr. the work with the pictures did prove very pleasing to me since they did deal with - building - growing - and Natures constructive phase of life.
As to the finding of "harmony within self" - that I cannot say that I have found to my satisfaction. However I must say that I do have a much deeper assurance, a conviction, within myself that I KNOW where and how to look for same. Whenever I come to the place where I can keep myself on the "beam" which I do recognize, because I have convinced myself that I have the "radar" sufficient to detect said "beam" - and when I can so consistently and constantly travel within its radius - then can I expect - yes then do I KNOW that I will find that "harmony within self."
As to the value - the worth of these readings - giving incarnations and other advice and help about the life and how to approach them for improvement in [is] the one and only Purpose of Life - to know the Inner Self, the God Self within... I do not have the ability to even begin to state how I could estimate this value... It is without any "yard stick" in my language.
I firmly believe that if one will STUDY and APPLY these readings with clean and honest and UNBIASED honesty, they will get the help they seek, they will find the answers to their questions, whether physical or spiritual. They too will get whatever they are truly seeking in answers to their problems... I know that I have fallen far short of making either the study or the application to the readings that I could have done, and yet my results - the Inner man have truly been great - and furthermore, because of the fact that so many of the answers given in the readings deal with Universal laws - these answers - the truths stated in the Readings do not concern just the individual, for whom the readings were given - Whoever is reading, whoever is seeking, they too will find their ANSWERS to the Game of Life.
I would like to mention, also, the names of some of the people who came into close association with me through my readings and this alone has been a pleasure well worth the value of the reading - had there been nothing whatever beyond same.
With reference to the incarnation in the west during period of the gold rush - the statement that I have not yet stopped seeking gold for the security is true. Where I do not have any desire to have wealth - either great or small I do have much concern of "future security" - I would much rather have a dependable very small income than any amount of wealth... I do not want to be bothered with the money business - but the "security" of it is important in my thinking, even today.
12/13/75 Xmas message to GD from Mrs. [2970] in Kansas:
CHRISTMAS GREETINGS 1975
The loving thoughts this brings of you And earnest prayers go winging too For every day there's some of you Come on my mental screen in view.
And while this mental picture lasts My thoughts go flying to the past, Thru years the kindly things you've done Have made me love you every one.
A look at my pen-pal-dear-ones sends me hunting for an easier, and safer way (since folks get the wierdest ideas from my handwriting). And would say same thing to you all anyway.
So here's my story for the year.
Have been a big success as Back Yard Farmer, brag.
Rather good nurse: took care of my Sis after she was out of the hospital from broken hip transplant operation. Now she walks fine without a cane. Of course the Good Lord was my copardner on that job, as usual.
Tons of leaves raked - garden spaded - snow shoveled by the day (almost) - daily walk (almost) - study - read - NO TV - gad about right much with friends - lodge - church - radio with Nitecaps at night - occasionally write letters, shame on me! Being Painfully honest - house-keeping-none. Sounds terribly dull to you city folks I know but really I do find a lot of interesting situations to get into.
So wishing you all God's richest blessing for the Holidays and the coming year.
Lovingly yours, [2970]
[handwritten note to GD:]
Hi Gladys Dear
Say hello to any of the gang around there who remember me. May God's richest blessings be upon you for Holidays coming year.