5/15/43 [
3351]'s letter:
New York, N.Y.
Dear Mr. Cayce,
I want to, first, tell you how much my mother and I enjoyed
your story in THERE IS A RIVER. For me it was very wonderful
- the most wonderful story I ever read, as your mother said,
and the fact that it is all real is an answer to so many
questions. Like finding hope and faith again after having
lost them. Then too, I received my education in Montgomery.
Tresslar is a very familiar name to my family, and in 1933
when our glee club (Woman's College, now "Huntingdon") sang
in concerts, we sang at the Methodist Church in Hopkinsville.
I remember it very well, because the steps which were too
high for me, started the evening with hilarious laughter.
I'm chubby and I stumbled up the steps and everybody roared.
Usually quite self-conscious, I thought it funny too, and
from then on was quite popular on tour.
My mother, who was struck by a taxi last year, and still
doesn't get around too well, was helped enormously by cocoa
butter massages - an idea received from your book. She is
your generation and understood the times of your youth so
well. And the party with the Japanese Lanterns where you
and Mrs. Cayce met brought up old times to her.
Mr. Cayce, I am most interested in having a reading, maybe
two, but I shall rely on your judgement before I ask for
time, explaining just why I want one.
There is nothing wrong with me physically except that I have
always been overweight and my processes are naturally all
affected by my low metabolism. (Nothing, that is, that
I know of.) My doctor called the diagnosis "endocrine
dyscrasia." I WOULD naturally like to clear this up,
but could do it by diet and thyroid tablets, I suppose.
But what I seek with all my heart is something I find it
difficult to explain. I need an understanding of myself to
help me get along better in the world; to have no social fear
of people, to help me find myself. I am so temperamental and
jumpy in different groups of people I am constantly in a high
state of nerves. And I get into situation that are foolish
indeed. I feel that I appear to be a fool, and yet I am
extremely conscientious in work, well-meaning toward all, and
perfectly honest. (I think.) I believe that either a life
reading or a "job" reading would help me to feel settled. I
long to understand myself (I believe I'm psychic, only I call
it intuition, and it certainly has made me misunderstood, or
NOT understood, everywhere I go) so that I can "get out of my
own way" - and help others. I want to be led to find myself
- to be able to use this wonderful intuition I have - to
do better with my music - to draw people to me instead of
driving them away, and to recognize those I've known before
so the debts we owe each other can be paid. How to help
my parents, mostly my father, to be free from ignorance and
poverty and childishness forever. And my sister from fear
and sickness and dependence. And Mother from worry.
And how I can help in the post-war world. And seek and
get wisdom. And a wonderful home for me. (The whole world
should have lovely homes and apartments to live and grow in.)
I believe God wants this for us because so many of us spend
so much thought on the subject.
I haven't been able to express myself perfectly here, and I
have been very personal about myself but I did so in the hope
that you could help me and understand what I need. (Maybe
life reading, maybe physical (glands), maybe I could use a
little psychiatric help - I don't know. I leave it to you.)
I MUST find myself. I believe I have gifts I should be
using.
Now about arrangements. Maybe you're swamped since your book
came out. However, my vacation starts June 12 for two weeks.
I shall be available at that time and would like very much
to come down and do lots of reading. Perhaps that would help
me as much as anything else. I AM waiting to see how the tax
business works out in congress too, so don't know whether I
could have the money saved by that time. If not, I can come
another time. I am working, as you see, with the ... If
your time is taken then and if your fee is more than I have,
then I shall gladly wait until later, postponing my vacation.
I intend to pay you the full price for the readings. If you
will tell me what your fee is I shall plan accordingly.
By the way, I note our bulletin carried a review of There Is
A River and I don't know whether you saw it, and am sending
you four copies under separate cover. It's on page 24. I
can send more copies if you wish them.
I enclose a stamped envelope and would certainly appreciate
an answer. Also, I wish to say that it is possible that I
shall have to wait until next year to come even if you could
see me in June, if it is necessary for me to accumulate the
amount of money which it would take. Thank you again.
Most sincerely, (Miss) [
3351], New York, N.Y.
P.S. It would be all right, though if I did wait till next
year.
6/43 Letter: The amazing wonder the affairs of each day of
the Congress held for me as a new member was - is something
so deeply moving that I feel too awed to speak. But I would
like to say how humbly grateful I feel to have been here and
shared in the work on this great man and the Association
which means so much to the world. [
3351]
7/08/43 [
3351]'s letter:
Dear Mr. And Mrs. Cayce,
I have tried a half dozen times to write this first letter,
and - first I returned and Mother got quite sick right away
(she's fine now, though), and then the terrible feeling of
loneliness which New York calls forth in me settled again
on my shoulders like a weight, and I couldn't concentrate on
what I wanted to say. This is about the seventh time I have
settled down to write you, and I believe it will go this
time.
Mr. Cayce, it was a wonderful privilege to me to go to
Virginia Beach and meet you-all. I heard many people say,
while there, that you certainly do change people's lives. I
KNOW you do. You have a gift of peace for most of us that
we can't find, evidently, without your help. I tell you,
wonderful is a small word to use regarding it. For many
years I have been, without really consciously realizing it,
poisoning myself with doubt. I don't know why some terrible
things didn't happen to me, for I was increasingly morbidly
unhappy with my lot, and became more and more "temperamental"
and self-centered.
And now, since I've met you and you broke the perverse chain
of my thought for me, I'm so happy to realize something
wonderful. I'm growing again! I'd rather have that than any
other gift in the whole universe. To know that things aren't
in a hopeless dull rut at all - that there are layers and
layers of things right in the same place I never knew were
here before! I hear you say again that we should be so
grateful to just be alive - this one thing is a wondrous
proof of God's love for us. To realize that I came as
straight to New York to work for Book-of-the-Month Club in
this routine boring job as the dye, means more to me now than
it ever did before. I've really been very lucky. I pray
that I am as understanding as I should be.
My unhappiness should have been a signpost to me. Now it is.
I think, now, I can find my future.
Mr. Cayce, there are certain developments in Mother's
accident case. An offer is pending for settlement. Whether
we will take the amount offered or whether we will take the
case on through court is dependant upon Mother's satisfaction
- when the definite offer comes soon. If we do take the
offer, it will perhaps be in August. If we sue the case
will be in January...
Please give my kindest regards to all the group. I shall be
concentrating with you on Tuesday nights. The next thing I
want to do is to learn to read THE BIBLE.
Do you think it is wise to read it faster than once a year?
Can one digest it any faster than that? (I still don't
require a reply - you can just answer that sometime when I
see you.) Speaking of seeing you, I've already made up my
mind I want to be there for my Life Reading. I hope that his
will be possible, although I don't know how, if I'm still
attached here. If I should have moved to Virginia and the
case were set, I suppose I could always return here for that.
I declare, I don't know which one of Y'all I love the best.
Gladys, I think, understood my - loss - I mean, my ridiculous
feeling at my having walked in and started talking so big.
I still don't know how it happened. By the second week I
realized I didn't know a thing about it. Gladys is awfully
sweet to me. And Mrs. Cayce - I do hope I didn't put her out
about the room. And little Thomas Jefferson. And you, Mr.
Cayce. Well, you have given me an understanding of faith
that I never had before. Even at times when I don't have it
I can think back to the week at the Congress when I did, and
that will help me. Thank you so much.
Well, I have certainly written a volume; I hope your mail
this Saturday (whenever this gets there) will not be an
all-day job because of my letter. Anyway, please don't
bother to answer, unless you should have something you
wish to tell me. I would not be the least bit disappointed
or sorry. I'd much rather think of you out picking
blackberries or fishing.
By the way, I got along very well on the train. I got a very
good seat both on the ferry and on the train.
My Mother and Daddy say thank you, with me, for your warm
hospitality and say that they would like very much to meet
you-all sometime.
Here's another "GOD BLESS YOU" to you. I'm really going to
stop now.
Kindest regards and love to all - and don't forget, if
there's anything I can do here, don't fail to let me know.
Love [
3351]
P.S. Here's a picture of Phil Spitalney's violinist - she
has gray eyes and light brown hair and is about five-feet-one
or two. I'm going to send you-all a Radio magazine showing
how some of your favorites look as soon as I can find the
one.
REPORTS
11/08/43 [
3351]'s letter:
..., New York
Gladys, dear,
Just a few lines to say thank you for your wonderful kindness
and depth of understanding - they seem to come out in
everything. And even though you probably are one of the best
overworked people anywhere, yours is a dream job - I know how
you feel about the work. As I said once when I was there,
I keep feeling, "All this and Heaven too." It is such a
privilege to me to come there and renew myself and try to
overcome the mistakes I make. I hope and pray that I do
understand. I want so much not to "miss the boat."
Gladys, you spoke of a "Jackie" here in New York who is
French. The first thing I did when I got home was to go
to the library and take out books on Michel Ney, General
[crossed out; replaced by Marshall] under Napoleon. I've
read them and found nowhere mention of a daughter - only
his wife and sons. And he came to North and South Caroline,
the books don't mention Alabama. Of course, I realize that
doesn't mean he didn't go, etc., only if you happen to know
some book titles I can get on the subject I should much
appreciate your letting me know at your leisure. Also
"Jackie's" full name and address. I'm going to work on
an old French book this week. Perhaps the right course
in Nursing will make appearance too if I look for it.
I feel much chastened by my reading. I'll try to be less
disgruntled on busses, etc. when pushed and crowded. If I
was a princess once and the daughter of a duke, I'm not now!
I believe I'll ask Miss Chandler, though I haven't met her
before, go over it with me. You know, Gladys, what chastened
me was to realize what a terrible ego I have! I never
realized it before - I don't feel nearly such a good girl.
I've much to overcome. The reading seemed to think I had
strength, but only if I lean on God and not myself. I
hope you will pray for me, and if there's anything you have
thought of that I haven't, I'd be so much obliged to hear it.
Gladys, dear, I would like Bea Seay and Mrs. Dillman to read
my reading, and if it isn't too much trouble, and you haven't
sent it already, and there is an extra copy would you be good
enough to send it to Bea and she will send it on to Mrs.
Dillman. Then, I don't mind if Miss Wynne, Jane (of
Norfolk, I've forgotten her name - Miss Wynne will know) Mae
Verhoeven, Mary Wirsing, and Mrs. Allen of Norfolk (whose
husband is in the Navy) to read it if they wish. Also Jane
[Jeanne] in the office (your secretary) - oh, but she's
typing it.
You probably have the typewriter by now. I hope it will help
you a lot - I sent it by express. I seldom use it, and if
I have to type anything I can do it at the office. I asked
about getting the back-spacer fixed but it would take maybe
two weeks, so I sent it on.
If Mrs. Howe is from N.Y. would you note her address for me?
I was in such a hurry I didn't have time to finish little
details and I thought she was a lovely person.
I'm so tickled that you have help and that Mary is there that
I could shout. Also Harmon Bro. Bless you all anyway. I
was always afraid my place wasn't in an office and had just
about given myself a breakdown trying to figure my way out
of one, but Mr. Cayce had to do it for me. But if there's
anything I can do for you-all - whether I'm here or there, I
want to do it so don't be afraid to ask me.
I do hope you're not too busy to bother with this - and do
take your time if there are any little pieces of information
you can give me. Just jot 'em down any way and I'll be
grateful.
My love to you and Mrs. Cayce, and Little Thomas Jefferson,
and all. I hope there'll be a tiny opportunity for Mr. Cayce
to meet mother and daddy tomorrow, but I'm hesitant to go
near him, what with the others, only I know he wants to see
us all.
Please give this note to Mae for me. Thank you again.
Love, [
3351]
I have some notes on Faith that belong to Mrs. Edmonds.
I'll return them to you within the week, if that will be
all right.
11/09/43 [
3351]'s letter:
Tuesday at noon.
Dear Mr. Cayce:
I want to just say, if I can find the words, Thank You. And
this too. My devotion to you is so great that I'm afraid
that instead of helping you as I wish to do I only get in
your way with my enthusiasm. But, if there is ever anything
you wish me to do for you, and I, being preoccupied with
other things don't see it, will you please let me know?
I sent the typewriter on Saturday by express and Harmon
should have it in use by this time. It is yours for keeps.
I prefer a Royal. And perhaps in the Spring I can start
toward the $100.00. It may be spread over the two-year
period, but I'll do my best.
Mr. Cayce, I know it is going to take me years to understand
my reading, and in a way I feel much better and in the most
important way I feel terrible - I get panicky realizing how
close the line is with me between rousing success and the
stark failure which has been turning me gray for the last ten
years. And I know that I alone must find the way. My hope
is in prayer. I do hope that I can keep from "missing that
boat" you spoke of. If there is anything you feel about me
that I should know or that will help me, is it asking too
much to ask Mary if she will let me know? Thank you.
And I wanted to say, Mr. Cayce, how happy it makes me to
see Mary by your side, not to speak of Harmon. They are
wonderfully right for the jobs, and I hope that by a very
short time the organization will be well on its way. I have
long believed I didn't belong in an office, only I did feel
that I wanted to help you-all if I could.
Mother and Daddy will be sitting with me tonight, and Mrs.
[
3357] and Miss [
3356] nearby, and we'll all be with you in
spirit.
Please remember, if you ever dictate that about the dream you
had during my reading, I am anxious to see it.
And please don't be too disappointed in me. I want to try
awfully hard to find my way, now. I must NOT miss that boat!
1/14/44 She obtained her Physical Reading. See
3351-2.