2/10/44 [
3443]'s letter to EC:
Mr. Edgar Cayce
My dear Mr. Cayce,
It has been some months since you sent my reading. Many
times I sat down and wrote you an acknowledgement of it, and
a letter of thanks but it just seemed I could not express my
self correctly, also made many mistakes. So they were never
mailed, now I am trying again. We human beings are a strange
lot. When I read the reading, well I thought I have done
that before, found it costly and did not again do it. The
easy way of course, is to rely on drugs, that is what I did.
About 2 weeks ago I had 3 very severe hemorrhages outward but
nevertheless I went down close to death. In the first place
I felt I could not undergo the outline you sent me on account
of its cost, now of course I will have a bill to pay whether
I feel I can pay or not, is high or low I must pay. So, my
reasoning was poor. Now at this late day I thank you for
your interest and when I get out, and around again I will
follow instructions.
When I was laying flat on my back in the valley of shadows, I
noted one thing, the closer I was to parting from this world,
the less I feared it, and the calmer my mind was. My body
was making a a hard struggle, my heart seemed to stop beating
for a definite time, and when breathing came again, it was a
long drawn breath. Then after a period of time my heart beat
rapidly, pounded so, and my breath in gasps, yet my mind was
calm, and I think clear. Now I don't think I ever will fear
that breaking of earthly ties in the future, nor will I ever
dread it. Not that in the past I spent a lot of time in
morbid contemplation and fear of it but I nevertheless did
have some dread of the experience. Another thing I noted,
the going backward of time, and events of the past the amount
of life span covered in what must have been a short space of
time in my mind. So clearly, that today, I marvel at it.
Too seems as if I noted definitely; breaks when I was not
obedient to a higher call, a call I either disregarded or
tried to put out of mind. That was generally or always
followed by sickness. Times severe, times like now when I
was forced to lie still for long periods of time, or sit
without reading and actual use of my mind. Well I have not
found I spent a well used life, but I am afraid a rather
wasteful one with only certain periods correct, logical, and
as near proper living with our God as a human person can do
so.
The one question I can not answer, nor even see a solution
to, is this, what about the hundreds and hundreds of
sinful...and improper impressions that are implanted in my
mind in this life time. How can I break the chains of mind
thought, and habit at this late day. They teach that our
mind is receptive, and a part is more in our brain by
constant doing a repeated act or thought. So how can we, who
have accumulated years, find, or get release from these
thoughts and habits.
Many times I have thought that so much of our sickness, ill
health or what ever name we call it by, is caused by not
heeding a call we have been conscious of, a call to forego
certain deeds, actions, thought, and not taking close
cooperation with this power, force, that we call, God.
If only when this call comes to use, we could grasp it, hold
it, obey it. It is some thing I never have been able [to]
share in speech with any one. For one thing I could not
define it, nor could I hold it, or rather hold to it nor
could I express myself as I felt its call. So this is the
first time in 58 years span of life I ever have.
I still am very tired all the time, shaky, etc. So this
letter is not very well wrote or expressed but over look
that. Thanks for everything.
Yours sincerely, [
3443]
2/21/44 He ordered the book, A SEARCH FOR GOD.
5/58 Routine A.R.E. mailing was returned marked DECEASED.


Edgar Cayce Readings © 1971, 1993, 1994, 1995 by the Edgar Cayce Foundation