8/14/30 [
4504]'s letter to Mrs. D. P. Taylor:
It was certainly most kind & thoughtful of you to be so
interested in my case in connection with Mr. Cayce's
reading etc. But - being all alone as I am now, I do not
see how I could ever attempt to resume those treatments
again. For it was all to my spine & my dear mother would
have to beside me & put the little plates to certain spots.
And I could never get anyone else to do this for me of
course.
My reading is packed away somewhere in another trunk at
my boarding place in B'ham, so I could not get to it now
at all.
No, the only hope I ever see of resuming those treatments,
would be to go to the hospital. And oh, how I do wish I
could do that, but - am very doubtful of getting this wish
fulfilled.
However, I am going to try. And in this way. I have two
old maid aunts in ..., who are very, very wealthy, and I am
all they have in this world, to care for.
That is, all but their MONEY. They are typical old maids
in every sense of the word, & as is characteristic of most
of them, very, very close.
They seem to think a great deal of me, in their cold hearted
way, & do at times, prove their interest in me, by doing
things for me. For instance, I could not be staying here but
for their help.
And so, as long as I stay here in the country, they will pay
the difference in cost, on my board, but will not give me
anything in town.
Long years ago, in fact, in 1901 I think it was, they sent
me to Battle Creek Mich. Sanitarium for treatment & I stayed
nearly seven months. Of course I enjoyed it immensely, &
had a wonderful time. But could not see any benefit in
regard to my nervous trouble. However, I surely believe if
I have gone there when just a few years old, I think they
could have helped me very much & perhaps cured me. Then
in about 4 yrs. I went back for a minor operation, & and had
a lovely trip again, after getting over the operation.
Thanks to these dear aunts.
And in each instance, my aunts stood all expenses. Then
about 5 yrs. ago they sent to the sanitarium at Orlando
Fla. Which is run just like Battle Creek in every way.
I was not sick but they just wanted me to get away from the
cold weather in B'ham. (There! If you can read that last
sentence, you'll do well. I omitted those words & had to
tuck them somehow.)
I certainly enjoyed being in Orlando, & have hoped every
winter I might get back. But of course it is very expensive.
So my dear aunts have not said, "Lucie, you may go back to
the Florida Sanitarium again." SO WOE IS ME.
But - I am going to tell them now about Mr. Cayce & his
wonderful work & see if I cannot get them interested in his
hospital. I had never dared tell them about taking his
treatment etc. for they are so queer & would have thought
him a fraud. But now that his hospital is established & it
is proven what he can do, PERHAPS they'll "sit up & take
notice."
...I only wish that I could be of some service, some help
to someone in some way. I pray for this every night of my
life. But I feel that being like I am, I cannot do anything.
I feel so helpless, so good for nothing.
And it hurts me so too, for I see so much good to be done.
So many who need help, in many ways. And yet, owing to my
affliction, there seems nothing I can do. No place for me
at all.
Please do not think tho I am rebellious, for I certainly
try so hard not to be, for I realize only too well that my
dear, merciful Father hears my feeble prayers for strength,
patience & greater faith, to go on living as I am, & it is
His will for some reason not given to me understand.
I do so long to be active in church work, & would give
anything if I could be a teacher to little tots.
But, I have always been too sensitive, to self-conscious
etc. to every have much to say in a crowd.
I read a little poem in the Front Rank, I think it was,
just recently & intended clipping it but cannot find it now.
It was about the good that could be done, if one were only
regular each Sunday, in a certain seat at church. I thought
it suited my case exactly, for that is about all I can do,
is to attend Sunday School & morning service regularly. So
if in my small way, any good can be accomplished I am doing
this tiny bit. For I never miss being there in a certain
spot, unless it is raining or I am too sick to go, which is
not often, thankful to say...


Edgar Cayce Readings © 1971, 1993, 1994, 1995 by the Edgar Cayce Foundation