5/10/44 Letter: "...I do not need the physical. Dr. Renner
is curing me of Brights disease and has cured me of a toxic
thyroid. He has one or 2 of your clients and has bought
'There Is A River' and I feel I am being helped. A lot of
it is diet, and up to me but I do need help mentally, for the
subconscious soul sickness I fight is the cause of all the
physical loneliness, emotional starvation, causing me to
overeat to kill time, etc... Here is my first question:
[besides those at end of 5124-1] (1) Should I try, at
my age, to leave here and uproot myself? I have a big
reputation as a teacher here, but away from here alone, would
I make out without a background or any rating? (2) Do you
see me living any length of time? (3) Do you see any bad
accidents for me? (4) Will I ever be able to travel and do
the things I long to do, and not count the cost? I have had
an unusually peculiar life, and Saturn has shut the lid down
tight on my personal life and hopes. Everyone belonging
to me has died, even friends die or move clear across the
continent. I am an only child, my father was a doctor. Have
talents above the ordinary; was preparing for the opera, but
married and soon divorced. Then my mother being left a widow
twice, needed me; but continued to sing in church choirs,
still do off and on, always something to interrupt that,
colds, nerves. etc. So I am a business school teacher, have
taught 20 years; have won quite a reputation as a teacher,
but my heart is in my home, in keeping it up, etc. What I
want the answer to, is why am I gradually being left alone,
no chance of marriage, am too hard to please. Have had
several intense love affairs, but none I would trust again
and get along for companionship. I have been denied a
personal love life and children, and now I fear old age...
One other thing: I am not morbid; I am jolly by nature, and
try to live the truth..."
REPORTS
6/19/44 Letter: "...In regard to my reading, you are reading
my mind! I sit down with the bible and my reading and study
the passages... I am doing a fine work helping people to
earn their living, but my personal life is not much. What
I really want the answer to is so deeply and evasively put
in my reading that I can only see that if I live the life
and become proficient in being able to give others that
interpretative activity in their lives, then and only then,
can I locate where I choose, and find perhaps companionship
in marriage, and that if I do not live the 'activity' an
early death is foreseen, but if I live the 'activity', I
will live here on this plane for some time. What is meant
by activity? Where and how am I to begin? I live each day
doing my duty. I am not in contact with people who study
metaphysical subjects. ...Is clannish and snobbish, and one
is branded as 'queer' if they delve into these things; for
instance, mothers would not send their daughters to me if
they knew that, at heart, I am a spiritualist! I am not
associated with the deeply intellectual; there are no New
Thought Churches or lectures to attend. I can't stand
Christian Science, tho it has its good points. Thank you for
letting me express myself, for I am worried, but I still can
keep 'plodding' along, tho life goes by swiftly."
3/14/50 Letter: "I had such confidence in the ability and
sincerity of Edgar Cayce that I believe the report to be
true, if I accept the reincarnation theory. I do not like
the thought even of reincarnation, but every metaphysical
subject I have read, and all religions accept it, except the
Christian Scientist and some western spiritualists. I asked
for my past live[s] in my reading, and Mr. Cayce gave me my
five. I think Mr. Cayce was a very gifted and beautiful soul
- always giving himself to the last degree of his strength.
I think he was absolutely right about everything he told
me: my desire for psychic unfoldment and my fear of public
opinion, etc. He wrote to me in his own handwriting many
times, and I asked him not to, for I felt he did not have the
time... I am a business teacher in my home, and I consider
that my influence in spiritual ways with my students and the
thorough job I do has sent hundreds into the world for their
life work. I am happy in my work and love it, but it is
not the dominant note by any means. I was gifted as a choir
singer and musician and belonged on the stage as a dancer
and I loved my solo work in many choirs. At 19, my life was
twisted by a very unfortunate marriage and divorce. Then
until 13 1/2 years ago, my life was completely dominated
by a mother complex, and I gave up marriage and the love
of husband and children which I needed, because I could
not divide my affection. She did not want me to, but she
controlled me, so I could not leave her. Now I am alone
in the world and it is too late for the joys I should have
had. I am living a useful, worthwhile life and a sad one,
completely frustrated, so it must be karma, and you can see
the 'Ruth' influence. Spend money needlessly - my work and
renting my rooms when I can, keep me completely tied. I read
several magazines on astrology, etc., but I cannot study it,
as shorthand is hard to teach, and I am tired when I have
leisure time. I am not robust, and need much rest. I
shall always regret not having met Mr. Cayce..."
6/04/52 No record of verbal or written contact on this case
since the letters dated
6/19/44 and
3/14/50.


Edgar Cayce Readings © 1971, 1993, 1994, 1995 by the Edgar Cayce Foundation